Give Joy, Love Well: Your words matter
I have a box filled with some of the most sacred things: cards from other with their carefully crafted and chosen words for me. It’s the time and thought of sending a card that can strengthen our relationship. Your words matter.
I wanted to take some time with you exploring ways we can craft messages in our cards that grow, invest and care for our relationships well.
THANK YOUS
Instead of only writing a thank you card like this: “Thank you for the xyz gift you sent me.”
Try: “Thank for the xyz gift you sent me to celebrate my birthday. More than that, thank you for the gift of friendship. Thank you for being a safe place for me to come with my joys and sorrows. Thank you for how you encourage me to do better and for reminding me that I am capable. What a gift you are to me.”
It’s not that the first one is bad. It acknowledges a gift and your gratitude, but if you’re wanting to grow, foster and deposit into your relationship, then try something like the second one. This one celebrates your friendship and addresses the places the friend has been a gift to you.
BIRTHDAYS
This birthday message is a great start: “Happy birthday Sarah. Hope your day is amazing…”
Want to go further to add more intentionality toward your relationship? Then try this: “Sarah, happy birthday to a friend who truly is joyful, fun and strong…You are discerning and wise - thank for filling me up with your thoughtful insight...You are an amazing, genuine and beautiful woman and so very grateful I have you in my corner. Thankful for our relationship that continues to grow in understanding…You are a safe place and I hope your birthday is filled to the brim with your favorite things, people and more! You deserve it.”
The first message is good, but the second one takes the birthday message one step further. You sending a card thoughtful, but if you want to nurture and care for your relationships, then take the time to address specifically what you see in your friend. Call out the qualities that you admire and appreciate. Your words matter and will only build up the reader.
JUST BECAUSE
You don’t always need a reason to send a card. I’ve received cards in the mail when friends and family knew I was facing a challenge in life. They sent me a card with their words of encouragement and man, it means the world to me because they sat down thinking about me. They sat down with pen and paper to make sure I had words to carry me through harder seasons in life.
Here are some more ideas and tips when writing in cards:
Just because cards are some of the very best, simple surprises. I am sitting at my desk now where there are a few cards pinned above my computer. They are all filled with words from friends just appreciating our relationship and expressing gratitude. A newer friendship was fostered with simple acts of kindness and small gestures. She dropped off a bag of tea, chapsticks and a card simply reading: You are an encouragement and blessing in my life. I’m so grateful for your friendship. She did this after I sent a text message expressing how tired I was feeling with baby not sleeping and my workload being heavy. She took that intel and loved me well.
When you know someone is facing a more challenging season with loss, health scares and more, remember that a simple card with your words could open up a door for them to reach out to you or just to feel seen, known and loved.
Here’s a few ways to address that:
“This year has had its trying times for you, but you’ve only been gracious and courageous. I hope you see more triumphs than valleys, but I know you are capable and brave. And when you feel like it’s all too much, I am here to listen and to serve in any capacity you may need. I know what it feels like to navigate loss and pain - and don’t want you to feel isolated or alone.”
“I may stumble through this with you saying the wrong things or not showing up when you need me to, but know that I will always try to do my best to give you space for processing, healing and more. You are loved by my family and I. We are here for you even now - in this scary season you’re facing. Joy will abound, dear friend.”
There’s no right or wrong way to send a card, but know that when you write words of appreciation, gratitude and affirmation you are nurturing your relationships. When you go beyond a general message, you are investing in your relationships. This is a small way to invest mightily in your friends.
with joy,
Aneta Nina
GWJ founder + designer
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