Love Fiercely: The great expectations...
When I say love fiercely, so many ideas and thoughts on love and relationships come to mind. At its core and basic, loving well and loving fiercely loving others as you love yourself. It is expecting respect and understanding as you offer them first. It’s using your unique gifts in your relationships and communities to bless and lift up. It’s using your voice to promote peace and spring on more unity.
This kind of love endures because it’s not easily offended, it forgives quickly, listens firsts, and leaves assumptions at the door. This is the basic expectation I hold for all my relationships in my life. Like most people, I have many people in my life - some are very intimate relationships and some are my casual. The common thread in all my relationships is the core of loving fiercely. I don’t always do it right, but I want to always strive to look inside my own heart first than make assumptions and be easily offended.
Want more meaningful and intimate relationships in your life?
Here are a few places to begin and things to remember:
Your expectations kill relationships. You have to be willing to give up comfort and judgement to create space for these kinds of relationships.
Don’t place your insecurities on others. I always do a heart check when I feel hurt or offended. I ask myself first: Is this something I placed on that person? Am I assuming the best? If I can’t settle the offense within myself first, then I will have an honest and humble conversation with my CLOSE friend.
Expect mistakes and failures. Own your mistakes, say the hard things in love and always feel confident to set your limits and create healthy boundaries.
A friend sat me down once because I offended her about her birthday plans. She took something I said in a negative way. She simply experienced it negatively and I only meant to pose a question. We went out for wine to celebrate - just her and I - and she let me know that I offended her. I quickly apologized and explained to her my intentions. I was so thankful she felt comfortable with me to say something to me. And you know you’re doing a relationship right when you have these conversations and nothing but love is produced from it.
It takes work to have intimate and vulnerable relationships. These relationships don’t happen overnight. You have to commit to doing your own heart work first. You have to love yourself well to share that same love with others.
Commit to loving well and loving fiercely. Commit to being quick to listen and to understand. Give grace generously and keep expectations of others at a reasonable level. Remember, not everyone will be your BFF, but everyone deserves dignity and respect.
with joy,
Aneta
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