Why I Believe We're Better as Imperfect Moms
Photo by Rachael Hope.
Motherhood can feel intimidating. We scroll and see beautifully decorated and clean homes where children live. We share photos of smiling, happy kids dressed to impress with perfectly themed and executed parties. All of that is lovely, but sometimes it doesn’t mirror our own lives. All that scrolling can leave us feeling inadequate creating walls with one another because we’re afraid to let them into our REAL lives. The ones where floors are sticky, the kids are fighting and there are no clean underwear to be found.
This is where we are better as imperfect moms because it’s when we are real, vulnerable and humble, we tend to foster the best kind of relationships with one another. The kinds of relationships that hold us up when things get hard and remind us that we are the best mom for our children.
Some of my closet and most sincere relationships with other moms only formed because I was given safe space to say: “I can’t believe I reacted that way today?” “I am not keeping up well. This is a lot for me right now.” Creating safe spaces for each other where we don’t react like our ways are the best and only ways to parent. These kinds of relationships allow us to parent our children together modeling sincerity and service through our friendship.
If you need connections and relationships that sounds like the above, I would encourage you invite a mom into the good, bad and messy. Offer to help her watch her children one afternoon or drop off coffee at her front door with a sweet note. These small gestures ignite beautiful relationships.
And of course, discern well who you share all the nitty gritty details with. Friends and relationships in our lives all play a different role and not all of them will look the same.
Here are a few more things I have tried with all moms I meet:
At the park, I will make sure to smile and at least say hello to the moms (parents) there. This usually brings down any guard someone may be feeling because I know sometimes our own insecurities get in our way to create friendly spaces.
If another mom is venting about her day, I just listen and offer to help by hosting a night out, babysit her children or I drop off a meal. Bottom line, listen first and then be kind and generous.
You see a child having a meltdown at the store and that mama looks tired and stressed, walk by her quietly telling her she’s a good mom!
A simple, “I’ve been there too, mama,” is a good way to let her know she’s not alone.
Tell me about your motherhood tribe. Share ways you have fostered relationships in motherhood?
with joy,
Aneta Nina
GWJ Founder + Designer