Growing Relationships: Lessons from the Window Sill
You set the pot on the windowsill, add water, sunlight, and watch as your little plant…struggles. It’s frustrating, right? Nurturing even something simple like a plant can turn out to be way trickier than it looks. And sometimes, just like with plants, we assume a little time, a little attention, and it’ll all be good. But not all plants are alike—just like people and the unique experiences we have with each of them.
Sound familiar? Maybe instead of a plant, it’s a friendship you’re thinking of.
We’re all juggling a lot right now, coping in our own ways, and it’s no wonder relationships feel a little strained. Each of us has our own set of experiences, strengths, and challenges. And while we all know this, it’s easy to forget when we interact with others, slipping into patterns of expectation and assumption.
My daughter’s just started first grade, and I find myself reminding her often: “Forgive, extend grace, and remember, you’re only in control of yourself.” Those reminders got me thinking about the basics of maintaining a healthy, growing relationship.
Here are a few gentle practices to keep in mind as we aim to cultivate joy in our connections.
Listen First, Respond Later.
Not every conversation needs immediate advice or critique. Sometimes, a friend just needs a listening ear, with a focus on understanding rather than offering solutions. Start by asking, “Do you want my advice, or would you prefer I just listen?” This simple question can make others feel seen, heard, and respected. And when it’s your turn to share, don’t be afraid to say, “I just need you to listen.” Seeking to understand first builds connection, and clear communication can make all the difference.Self-Reflect Before You React.
Hard conversations can strengthen a relationship, but not every disappointment needs to be addressed right away. First, take a moment to check in with yourself. Ask, “Am I reacting negatively because of my own perspective or insecurities?” Honest self-reflection can clear up so many misunderstandings. Taking time to ensure you’re not projecting your own feelings onto others solves most relationship challenges. Also, be sure to check if your heart has become hardened to certain things, as this can block your ability to offer genuine kindness and grace.More Grace, Less Criticism.
Look for the wins! Make a point of celebrating small achievements and progress. Check in with your friend to see how things are going, and reach out for the good times, not just the tough ones. This little shift can make your connection feel lighter, healthier, and more supportive.Adjust Expectations.
Let’s be real: none of us are perfect. Hold space for respect, understanding, and a dose of flexibility in your expectations. Take time to express appreciation for what you love about them, not just what they could do better. A quick note, text, or even a card with a heartfelt reminder of their strengths can go a long way.
I grew up with lots of sisters close in age, so I’ve had my fair share of disagreements and learning moments. And let me tell you—these tips aren’t about sidestepping tough conversations. They’re about creating a pause, taking a breath, and doing our own work first before placing demands on others.
Your Next Steps to Growing Joyful Relationships
Take a moment to think about how you can bring joy into a relationship today. Here are a few simple ways:
Invest in Quality Time: Reach out and ask about their life—what’s bringing them joy, where they might need support or prayer. Show up genuinely, even from afar.
Surprise Them: Send a small gift, card, or meal delivery when they’re celebrating or going through something tough. Little gestures mean a lot.
Offer Grace First: Before reacting, check in with yourself. Ask, “Am I assuming the best?” If something needs to be addressed, go in with kindness and a goal to strengthen, not divide.
Ultimately, we’re all works in progress. With a little grace and some simple acts of kindness, there’s room for us all to grow together. 🌱
with joy,
Aneta Nina
Founder + Designer GWJ
